... And I would walk 500 more.

The only thing I feel when I think of you is regret.

Regret that I spent so much time, more than I'd ever care to admit, thinking about you.
Thinking I'd wait.
Thinking I'd change.
And the biggest mistake of all?
Sentiment. Forgetting that human attraction is nothing more than chess, masked by years and years endoctrination, believing the lie that every good little girl gets a Prince Charming and a happily ever after.

I guess that could be true. I mean, what would I know? The one thing I have never been is a good little girl.

Still, thinking I have the most regret about is that even though the chapter is firmly closed, if you asked me to, then...

"I would walk 500 miles,
And I would walk 500 more.
Just to be the one who walked 1000 miles
To fall down at your door."

I would walk 500 miles...

A chapter closed.
In the back of my mind I know it was completely stupid. A zebra does not change its stripes, however much you might wish it to.

Do I really always see the good in people, even when it isn't there? I certainly don't think so. Take today for example. There was the guy who looked like a stoned Jesus, ALL the hipsters, the pompous-British-aristocrat guy, and the smarmy faux-scene guy with the tongue piercing on the train.

I am judgemental as FUCK.

In this case... Am I seeing good things because that is what I want to see? No, not "am I". "WAS I". FOr once in my life (albeit, after I was proven wrong. Several times.) I'm actually going to listen to the unanimous advice of literally evryone else. In moderation though, as sickeningly, there are actually some throats that I just wouldn't be able to bring myself to cut, legal and ethical issues notwithstanding.

It's sickening.